August 2013 – Modern Farm Wife

10 Things I Learned In August + 3 Year Anniversary

08/28/201309/12/2013by Modern Farm Wife8 Comments

Today marks day #730 of my installation as a modern farm wife, aka my three-year wedding anniversary. It’s hard to believe it’s already been three years since that sultry day the Dairy Man and I said “I do.”

But I love that man more with each day. Despite all of the harvesting, late nights, life lessons, and manure, he always makes me laugh. I feel blessed to spend my life with him … and several hundred cows. Happy anniversary, Dairy Man!

Now that we’ve gotten the obligatory mush out of the way, let’s reflect on August. Which is almost over, by the way. HOW did this happen!? Apparently time flies when you’re building a barn and turning 27.

Anyway. On to the things I learned this month.

10 Things I Learned in August

1. Dogs can get bronchitis.
Who knew? While Dairy Man and I were cavorting around Utah, Jersey the dog was spending his vacation at Whiskers Resort and Pet Spa. Snazzy. But apparently it was also full of some high-end germs. The pup got bronchitis. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

2. Utah is one of the most beautiful states I’ve ever seen.
This month Dairy Man and I took our longest vacation since our honeymoon three years ago. Destination? Salt Lake City, Utah to visit some friends. The mountains were gorgeous and I got to check #4 and #10 off my 30 before 30 list.

3. In N’ Out Burger is everything the world made it out to be.
California isn’t the only state with these burger meccas. Utah boasts several In N’ Out joints and DM and I got our first taste on vacation. My taste buds rejoiced.

4. I still don’t understand demolition derbies. Or mullets.
August is the month of our local county fair. While I quite enjoy eating a 2 lb. elephant ear for dinner and ogling at cute baby goats, I still feel like a fish out of water at a demolition derby. So much exhaust. So many mullets. Ah, the cultural opportunities presented in a small town.

5. Border Collie playdates are the best kind.
The J-pups recently had a play rendezvous with another puppy named Boots. They wrestled, frolicked, chased frisbees, and enjoyed having the same level of energy. It was exhausting. And fun fact: Boots (foreground) is 10 months old; Jersey is two years. Apparently we have a very petite BC.

6. The Great Salt Lake smells like death.
I’ve never smelt the Dead Sea, but if it’s anything like the Great Salt Lake, I understand the name. The Great Salt Lake smells like death and dead things. Due to wildly fluctuating water levels and pollution, the lake has a terrible stench caused by the decay of insects and other wildlife during times of low water. But if you plugged your nose, it was at least a little pretty.

7. Wood paneling might be back in style. Tell that to my old farmhouse.
No matter what West Elm might be selling, I stand by my decision to paint every inch of the wood paneling in our old house.

8. When it comes to manure pits, size does matter.
Why have three small pits when you can have one pit that can store five million gallons of manure? We’re nearing completion on the dairy’s new manure pit this month and DM couldn’t be more excited.

9. I’m horrified that floral pants don’t seem to be going away.

10. Air conditioning is vital to life on a dairy.
Why? Because if your air conditioner breaks—thus forcing you to open all of the windows in the house—and a manure tanker drives up and down your driveway all day, your house WILL smell exactly like a manure pit. It’s going to take a while to get that smell out of the throw pillows.

Family

The Shiny New Barn

08/08/201302/11/2016by Modern Farm Wife13 Comments

After months of planning, building, and anxious mooing, our shiny new barn is finally complete. I’m sure the Dairy Man would love to take a moment to bask, but he’s already moved on to other projects.

Oof. Just a little manure pit. Things never slow down around here.

But, back to the beauteous barn. As you know, Dairy Man decided to expand one of our barns this spring in order to grow our herd and give the current bovines a little more room to spread out.

Here’s where we started: two pretty white barns on a grassy hill (our parlor is on the far left).

In order to build an expansion, we had to first raise up the ground. This required sand. Lots and lots of sand.

I quite enjoyed the sand. Unfortunately the Dairy Man shot down my idea to turn the area into a beach volleyball court complete with tiki torches and frozen daiquiri bar. Apparently making space for more cows trumps my desire for summer beach parties.

But Jersey agreed with me. He loved the sand. It was like an episode of doggy Baywatch.

After the sand was laid and the ground was even, the posts went up.

These random sticks pointing in the air were like a dairy farm version of Stonehenge. Without the burial mounds and Druid undertones.

Then it was time for rafters and a roof made out of steel.

Once the outside structure was complete, it was time to trick out our barn. Or “pimp my barn.” We’re still waiting to hear from MTV about the TV rights.

A few notable elements inside the barn:

Grooved concrete floor.
A grooved floor helps give the ladies traction as they roam around the barn. Without grooves, the floor would be a skating rink of slippery cow poo. Delightful. DM told me to take a good look at the floor, because it will never, EVER be this clean again. (Also, these are the wrong shoes to check out barn construction. In case you were wondering.)

Big fans and sprinklers.
Cows hate to be hot and bothered. In order to keep the ladies cool, the new barn has huge fans and a sprinkler system. Thanks to several weeks of 90-degree weather in July, the fans and sprinklers have been getting a serious workout.

Water tanks.
The new barn has two large blue water troughs. In the summer, the cows spend a lot of around them, an area I’ve dubbed the “water cooler,” to catch up on the latest gossip.

Freestalls to give the ladies their space.
All of our barns are freestall barns. This means that the cows are free to roam around and have access to comfy sand beds/stalls. The stalls are spaced four feet apart to give even the biggest-boned bovine plenty of personal space.

So. Those are the thrilling aspects that make up a barn. DM is so proud that I can recognize the glory of grooved concrete.

I was lucky enough to be in the barn when DM released the girls into it for the first time. I’m not a cow whisperer, but I could tell the cows were excited. I suspect they had been conversing longingly about the cozy new sand beds and waterfront views of the pond.

This event also finally gave me the chance to test an age-old dairy theory: that cows are just as excited about going into a new barn as they are about going into pasture. I’ll admit I was skeptical. I’ve witnessed our dry cows (pregnant ladies) go into pasture for the first time in the spring multiple times. It’s one of my favorite parts about living on a dairy. Why? Because it’s like a very rotund and jubilant running of the bulls. For a few minutes, the ladies forget they are mature mother cows and leap, frolic, and roll in the pasture like calves.

Would cows really be as excited about freestalls as they are about fresh pasture grass?

My camera and I were ready to find out. DM opened the gate between the old barn and new barn and after a few tentative steps, we had a stampede on our hands!

Ok, maybe “stampede” is a bit of an exaggeration, but it was joyful.

I even caught one of the girls rolling in the new sand bed like a wet puppy at a beach. Not a typical look for a 1,500 lb. animal.

In a matter of minutes, every single cow was packed into the new barn. Except for this loner. She was soaking in the sudden privacy in the old barn.

The bovine ladies are loving it. And yes, new barns are just as exciting as green pastures.

Family

10 Things I Learned in July

08/01/201302/11/2016by Modern Farm Wife6 Comments

I’m going to start putting a nice bow on each month by filling you in on the things I’ve learned. Sometimes it will be educational, sometimes I’ll just send you to awesome links on BuzzFeed (like the 21 most awkward moments in handshake history – you’re welcome). Either way, it will be proverbial goulash of random things each month. Yum.

So let’s get started. Here, in no particular order, are:

10 Things I Learned in July

1. I am addicted to caramelizing onions.
I’m of the firm believer that everything, from salads to burgers, can be improved greatly by caramelized onions. It’s a sickness. But how can I NOT caramelize a red onion in red wine and add it to my burger with basil aioli and herbed goat cheese? Seriously.

2. This is what happens when 318 Corgis throw a beach party. You might die from the cuteness.

3. Rain is a good thing.
Most of July was marked by endless blue skies, hot temps, and blazing sunlight. Awesome, right? Wrong. While my city girl side would be perfectly happy with nothing but sunbathing weather for 12 months out of the year, our corn begs to differ. That’s why when the skies opened up last week and things got wet and gray, I said a thankful prayer. The thirsty corn was so happy.

4. Photobooth props make a person (even more) good-looking.
Need I say more?

5. Cows love fresh sand.
This summer, we expanded one of our barns. In July, the barn was finally ready and Dairy Man opened up the new space to our cows. Several of the ladies immediately began jubilantly rolling in the new sand. I’ve never seen a 1,500 lb. animal behave like a dog at the beach (legs in the air and everything), but there’s a first time for everything in this farm life.

6. Since discovering Jergens Natural Glow Revitalizing Daily Moisturizer, I have lost all motivation to get a real tan.
Why roast outside for an hour (something I rarely have time for) when this magical little potion can turn me a color I could never achieve naturally? Plus I’m starting to get depressed about my crow’s feet.

7. Even dogs respond to peer pressure.
No amount of bribery, pleading, or general coercion could get Jersey in the lake last year. That dog hates water. But this summer, Dairy Man’s sister got a golden retriever who loves it. For a while, Jersey watched Maggie splash around, getting all of the attention, playing with a Frisbee he desperately wanted. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. Whether it was the Frisbee or doggy peer pressure, J-pups finally sloshed in. So proud.

8. I do not thrive in chaos.
We installed 1,400 square feet of new flooring in our house this month. That meant clearing out our ENTIRE main floor, moving big appliances to the garage (like my stove, washer, and dryer), and camping in the basement. For nearly two weeks I couldn’t cook dinner, wash clothes, or find anything. I felt like a woman without a country. There was a lot of aimless wandering and whining “Do you know where we put ___?” Things didn’t feel normal again until our mattress was off the floor.

9. Nearly 100 degree temps make me want to die.
I’m a complete wuss when it comes to the heat. DM tells me that working in an air-conditioned office makes me weak, but I think Michigan humans are just not meant to survive when the thermometer jumps above 90. The cows agree with me.

10. A cowhide rug is the perfect place to hide a border collie.

So, what did you learn in July?