10 Things I Learned in July

I’m going to start putting a nice bow on each month by filling you in on the things I’ve learned. Sometimes it will be educational, sometimes I’ll just send you to awesome links on BuzzFeed (like the 21 most awkward moments in handshake history – you’re welcome). Either way, it will be proverbial goulash of random things each month. Yum.

So let’s get started. Here, in no particular order, are:

10 Things I Learned in July

1. I am addicted to caramelizing onions.
I’m of the firm believer that everything, from salads to burgers, can be improved greatly by caramelized onions. It’s a sickness. But how can I NOT caramelize a red onion in red wine and add it to my burger with basil aioli and herbed goat cheese? Seriously.

2. This is what happens when 318 Corgis throw a beach party. You might die from the cuteness.

3. Rain is a good thing.
Most of July was marked by endless blue skies, hot temps, and blazing sunlight. Awesome, right? Wrong. While my city girl side would be perfectly happy with nothing but sunbathing weather for 12 months out of the year, our corn begs to differ. That’s why when the skies opened up last week and things got wet and gray, I said a thankful prayer. The thirsty corn was so happy.

4. Photobooth props make a person (even more) good-looking.
Need I say more?

5. Cows love fresh sand.
This summer, we expanded one of our barns. In July, the barn was finally ready and Dairy Man opened up the new space to our cows. Several of the ladies immediately began jubilantly rolling in the new sand. I’ve never seen a 1,500 lb. animal behave like a dog at the beach (legs in the air and everything), but there’s a first time for everything in this farm life.

6. Since discovering Jergens Natural Glow Revitalizing Daily Moisturizer, I have lost all motivation to get a real tan.
Why roast outside for an hour (something I rarely have time for) when this magical little potion can turn me a color I could never achieve naturally? Plus I’m starting to get depressed about my crow’s feet.

7. Even dogs respond to peer pressure.
No amount of bribery, pleading, or general coercion could get Jersey in the lake last year. That dog hates water. But this summer, Dairy Man’s sister got a golden retriever who loves it. For a while, Jersey watched Maggie splash around, getting all of the attention, playing with a Frisbee he desperately wanted. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. Whether it was the Frisbee or doggy peer pressure, J-pups finally sloshed in. So proud.

8. I do not thrive in chaos.
We installed 1,400 square feet of new flooring in our house this month. That meant clearing out our ENTIRE main floor, moving big appliances to the garage (like my stove, washer, and dryer), and camping in the basement. For nearly two weeks I couldn’t cook dinner, wash clothes, or find anything. I felt like a woman without a country. There was a lot of aimless wandering and whining “Do you know where we put ___?” Things didn’t feel normal again until our mattress was off the floor.

9. Nearly 100 degree temps make me want to die.
I’m a complete wuss when it comes to the heat. DM tells me that working in an air-conditioned office makes me weak, but I think Michigan humans are just not meant to survive when the thermometer jumps above 90. The cows agree with me.

10. A cowhide rug is the perfect place to hide a border collie.

So, what did you learn in July?