10 Things I Learned in February

27 Feb

Not to sound like a broken record, but I can honestly say that I’m not sorry to see the backside of February. I’m sick of winter. DM is sick of winter. The cows are sick of winter. Jersey is … not, but he’s a furry anomaly who is blinded by his love of snow frisbee.

Practically speaking, I need things to warm up because my winter coat will no longer button over my pregnant girth. The whole “I can stuff myself into it until spring” plan isn’t really working and a milder season is nowhere in sight.

Stuffed-sausage-coats notwithstanding, February cannot not squeak by without teaching me a few things. Thus, I give you:

10 Things I Learned In February

1. You can supply an entire home with water through a garden hose.
How, pray tell, do I know this fun fact? Well, thanks to the delightful little winter we’re having, the pipe running from the farm’s main water source to our house froze SOLID. So did the ground all around it. Short of digging up 70 feet of pipe in frozen ground, we’re stuck. The solution? Run several garden hoses from the water supply to our house. The hose connects directly to our system in the house (even running through the water heater), so I can’t complain too much, but we live in constant fear of the hose freezing too. Seriously. Is it spring yet?

hose


2. While Dairy Man is away, MFW will play.

Or binge watch the entire season 2 of House of Cards. DM spent a week in California this month to attend the World Ag Expo and tour around dairy country. He soaked up the sun, ogled at rotary parlors, and ate from taco trucks. I didn’t clean anything, ate cinnamon rolls for dinner, and watched an embarrassing number of HOC episodes. The show is so addicting. And to those who have seen the last episode, can I just say: WHAAAAAAT!?!?!? Season 3 is going to be a thrill ride.

houseofcards


3. I have a secret to avoid speeding tickets.

Well, sort of. True confession: I force out a big yawn whenever I pass a police car because I think it makes me look nonchalant. Obviously no laws can be broken while yawning. I like to believe it’s impossible to perceive a yawner as a speeder.

4. I have not overcome my donut cravings.
I’ve never wanted sugar more than I have during this pregnancy. Proof? This is what my body required to get through my weekly grocery shopping trip this Monday. I couldn’t even talk myself out of it with the “you’ll spoil your dinner” argument because farmers don’t eat until 8 p.m. anyway! Curses.

donut


5. Just as DM suspected, whole milk may keep you lean.

I admit to you that I came into my marriage as a fervent lover of skim milk, margarine, and low-fat yogurt. Oh the horror. Dairy Man was so ashamed. But I gradually began to see that my perceptions about “healthy” dairy were far from the truth. Studies are starting to suggest that natural fats are actually better for us than the empty low-fat/no-fat options on the market. DM is quite smug.

6. Ice cover on the Great Lakes stood at 77% as of Tuesday.
This winter has been unlike any we’ve seen in the last 20-30 years. As a result, the Great Lakes were 77 percent frozen this week! And they were a mind-boggling 88 percent frozen on February 13. I’m not quite ready to ice skate to Wisconsin (especially since Lake Michigan is only about 50 percent frozen), but these stats boggle my mind.

7. It’s possible for Dairy Man to love Paul Rudd even more than he already does.
DM has two primary man-crushes in his life: James Franco (which I do not understand) and Paul Rudd (which I do). This unfettered man-love often dictates his movie choices and even trickles into his YouTube browsing. Paul’s recent lip sync battle with Jimmy Fallon propelled DM’s warm fuzzy feelings to new heights.

8. Somewhere in the world, tropical pigs are swimming.
This is the stuff that gets me through the day.

pigs-of-bahamas


9. There is one sure-fire way to ruin your husband’s day.
Just swap the melted Snickers bar he was saving for a “special occasion” with raisins. Oops.

snickersbar


10. I have less than 50 days until my due date.

Y-to the-IKES. I can’t believe how quickly the third trimester is flying by. And how big I feel. I like to surprise people with the size of my belly by turning sideways quickly, bouncing on my toes, and shouting, “WA-BUM!” It’s dramatic. This baby boy/dairy spawn will be here soon. Now if we could just finish the nursery or agree on a name…

32weeks

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12 Responses to “10 Things I Learned in February”

  1. Mandy 02/27/2014 at 11:03 am #

    The Paul Rudd video made my day.

  2. Fiona Lowe 02/27/2014 at 3:51 pm #

    The baby name will come! DH and I had a girls’s name and a list of possible four boys names…I was convinced I was having a girl! When bsby boy came out we looked at him , looked at our names and edened up calling him Sandon which want even on the list or in the name book of 10000 names we’d waded through!! So don’t stress. It will all work out fine even if the little bundle is no name for a little bit. Enjoying your blog as ever. Cheers, Fiona x

  3. Lisa 02/27/2014 at 8:12 pm #

    DM was in my town soaking up the warmth:) we are totally sick of the record highs and thankfully are enjoying some rain. I’m glad that the weather was good this year for the expo, most years it rains! You look amazing by the way:)

    • the Modern Farm Wife 02/27/2014 at 9:32 pm #

      Aw, you’re sweet, Lisa! I feel like a blimp most of the time. And DM had a wonderful time at the expo. I was very jealous of his weather. Michigan isn’t breaking 20 degrees these days. Though we all have our challenges, eh? I’m so glad to hear CA got some rain.

  4. Holly Moon 02/27/2014 at 9:26 pm #

    You look wonderful, Jessica! Can hardly wait for DM and Jessica’s or Jessica and DM’s baby to arrive!! I miss new babies…of our 8 grandchildren our baby “grand” just turned 4 in December. Time DOES fly….enjoy every moment! 🙂

    • the Modern Farm Wife 02/27/2014 at 9:33 pm #

      Thanks, Holly! It’s hard to believe we’re so close. I hope you’re doing well! 🙂

  5. Jessica 02/28/2014 at 9:45 am #

    You look fab, I was way bigger than that at 8 months (my son is 8 months old now) if you think time is flying by now, wait till he actually gets here. It is amazing and you will love it. Good luck! (from one dairy industry, new mom, stiletto loving jessica to another)

    • the Modern Farm Wife 03/04/2014 at 8:55 am #

      Aw, thanks Jessica! My pregnancy has flown by, so I’m sure time will go even faster once this babe is here. 🙂 xoxo, Jessica

  6. uptownblacktop 03/02/2014 at 5:44 pm #

    I completely relate to the Snickers swap! Don’t they know we mean well? 🙂 Looks like despite your excitement to get away from February, you at least learned quite a bit!
    Kate [of] UptownBlacktop

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