Tag Archives: Pregnancy

Joy and Fear: Waiting for our Second Child

14 Sep

It’s like I told my coworkers last week, “Now it’s time to freak out.”

I’m only partially kidding.

Why? Last week I started the third trimester of this lightning-speed pregnancy. And I can’t quite wrap my head around that.

For so, so long we waited, we prayed for this child. Our hearts were broken again and again. But then? She was. Growing safely inside me. Our prayers were answered in the most beautiful, soul-shattering way possible.

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I felt so blessed. So unworthy. I was almost afraid to truly bask in our happiness because it was just too good.

The tingly feelings of deep gratitude are still here, but they are sometimes pushed down by the realities of life. Of laundry and packing lunches and making dinner. Of work and travel and corn harvest.

The summer was so busy. And we’re so busy right now. The calendar over the next two months makes me want to cry. Between my work and farm insanity, there hasn’t been a lot of time to float around in a magical pregnancy bubble.

When I was pregnant with Anders, I lived in that bubble. I loved the wistful look that would come over someone’s face when I said “Yes, it’s our first.” I had nothing better to do than to take weekly photos in front of an elaborately-drawn chalkboard boasting “Baby F is the size of a kumquat!”

This time, understandably, has been very different.

Now I have a busy and egocentric toddler underfoot. Even when I was feeling my sickest (the first 16 weeks, ugh), sweet little Anders still demanded crazy things. Like dinner. Or diaper changes. Toddlers are not very accommodating to the woes of pregnancy, people. In the midst of pulling him off tables, chasing him around to put on his socks, and assuring him that asparagus is JUST DELICIOUS, I barely had time to notice I was pregnant.

I didn’t have a lot of time to sit. To think. To really imagine what our life will be like when the baby comes.

But third trimester. It’s here. I can’t ignore the fact that a baby is waiting for me at the end of this pregnancy.

Cue the freakout. I can’t believe we’re starting over.

In spite of the craziness that comes with a two-year-old, I love our life right now. Anders is hilarious. He talks constantly. He sleeps predictably. He loves so hard. He’s obsessed with farming. He has the coolest hair. He’s becoming more independent. I’m still floored by his transition from baby to little boy.

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Sometimes I sneak into his room for one last peek before I go to bed. (Am I checking if he’s still breathing? Maybe. Don’t judge. I hope my psychotic tendencies will lessen for the second kid.)

In those quiet moments, when his busy toddler body is stilled, his breath comes out sweet and slow, and his face is slack with innocence, my heart aches. My chest tightens and I can’t breathe from the sheer weight of my love for this little human. How I would die to protect him. How the thought of him growing up in this broken world renders me undone.

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It seems crazy that Dairy Man and I have willingly decided to divide our hearts again. To allow another piece of our soul to walk around in the world. A world we cannot control.

There’s so much to worry about. Especially for a professional worrier like myself.

But if pregnancy and being a parent has taught me anything, it’s that life is not about control. It can’t be. As much as I try to have the perfectly organized house and the perfectly run family, it’s not up to me. I can’t control toddler tantrums or farm emergencies or milk prices. I can’t control the sickness or tragedy that strikes those I love. I can’t control my pregnancy or be sure of a healthy baby.

Every shred of this imperfect life is in God’s hands. Not my own. That’s where sanity and comfort can be found.

Realistically, my freakout is still real and looming. Dairy Man knows nothing in the house is safe from my insane need to organize and nest. A part of me can’t believe we’re going back to blowouts, breastfeeding, and sleep deprivation.

I worry how Anders will adjust, how my heart will split to accommodate two.

The beautiful thing? It’s not up to me. My only choice is to trust that I’ll find our way. That I can bear the joy and fear of this life. That I can live in gratitude and faith. That I can rescue a toddler with his hand stuck in the vacuum while simultaneously rocking a newborn. That my heart can be broken and reassembled dozens of times a day. That our tribe will carry us when we can’t carry ourselves.

I have no idea how to have two kids, but I know we’ll figure it out somehow.

I am terrified and I am calm.

(And freakout + farm widowhood during harvest is the perfect excuse for ice cream.)

Bring on the third tri.

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Our Farm …er… Family is Growing!

9 Jun

Hello and welcome to life post corn planting.

Dairy Man barely knows what to do with himself after spending 90+ hours a week in a tractor planting over 1,500 acres of corn. That crazy man worked 95 hours two weeks ago. NINETY-FIVE. Dairy Man’s quip was “Jess, some people are 9 to 5ers. I’m a 95er!

He’s so clever.

Did I mention during that time we were also cutting triticale and hay? And of course the manure hauling never stops this time of year.

This life, I tell you. It’s been sheer craziness.

But I would be remiss if I didn’t let Anders share another bit of craziness that has found its way into our lives.

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You heard it here, folks (or on FB/Insta a few weeks ago…oops). Our little Dairy Boy will be a big brother in early December! We’re thrilled by God’s grace and can’t wait to welcome this new little blessing into our family.

Anders has no idea what he’s getting into. He mostly just likes to yell “I be a big BROTHER!” and do research.

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Jersey, on the other hand, is already acting surly. He seems to know what’s going on and it definitely can’t be good for the furry firstborn.

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DM can’t wait to grow our team of future farmhands. I’m sure he’s already working on the lawn mowing schedule.

And me? Amidst the excitement and joy I’m freaking out. I have no idea how I will handle two kids and a needy border collie, especially during times of year like planting season where Dairy Man doesn’t show his face for weeks.

This year it was all I could do to juggle a full-time job, pregnancy, grocery shopping, meal prep, cleaning, laundry, daycare, one busy toddler, and general living (showering, eating, sleeping, etc.). But even in the midst of this insanity, Anders and I found a good rhythm. We adjusted our expectations and learned how to get by with just the two of us. We ate more bread for dinner than I’m proud of (mix morning sickness with no husband–would YOU want to make filet mignon?), but we made it.

Come December, everything will change.

All of our carefully-constructed routines will be thrown for a loop and I’ll have to learn how to juggle two kids with very different schedules and needs.

The upside of having a baby in the dead of winter is that DM will be around. The cold season is so much slower on the farm (as long as our pipes don’t freeze). Anders was born in April and DM was in a tractor planting corn two weeks later. Not my favorite. This time will be different, slower, give more time for our family to adjust, and for that I’m grateful.

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Don’t let all my overzealous type-A fears fool you, I’m SO deeply excited for this next chapter in our lives, sleepless nights and all.

I’m savoring the newness, the comfortable anticipation of this second pregnancy. DM and I feel slightly prepared (we’ve done this before, right?) and terrified (what if it’s a girl!?).

We can’t wait to see what God has in store for our family.

And I can’t wait to rekindle my lifelong love affair with food. Any day now… #morningsicknessmustdie

10 Things I Learned in March

31 Mar

Hello, March. I think you might have misunderstood your role in this 12-month saga known as a year. We’re supposed to be on the road to spring.

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This was the scene from my office window last week. Ugh. I’m trying so hard to stay positive, but the truth is that I’m tired. So very tired of winter. Normal Michigan winters are nothing to sneeze at, but this winter has been extreme. Extremely cold temperatures, extremely constant snow accumulation (with no melting), extremely hyper border collie suffering from cabin fever.

Thank heavens that today is predicted to be an unfathomable 60 degrees. I was ready to break out my shorts and flip flops when temps tipped over 40 yesterday, so I might just sunbathe today. Maybe spring is more than a figment of my deepest memory.

As we go out like a lamb, here are the things I learned this month.

10 Things I Learned in March

1. Dairy Man and I have different ideas about Baby F’s wardrobe.
#Carharttsversusbowties

Carhartt_v_bowtie

2. The World Wide Web is 25 years old.
Our little Webby is turned 25 in March. Though it’s hard to fathom a world without LOLCats, snarky tweets about Vogue covers, and the bottomless pit of information on Google, the Internet as we know it did not exist before 1989. Congratulations, WWW. Go rent a car.

3. It takes 4-5 adults to put together one IKEA dresser.
The nursery is finally coming along (and not a minute too soon for my mega-nesting impulses). A few weeks ago we invited my parents and sister over to help set up the nursery and organize baby crap. Yes, that is the technical term. Somehow we all got involved in the construction of one very complicated IKEA Hemnes dresser. Talk about family bonding.

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4. Neil Patrick Harris and Jason Segel pulled off an epic duet of “Confrontation” from Les Misérables.
Never before has there been a more perfect union of one of my favorite sitcoms and one of my favorite musicals.

5. I’m the best wife ever.
Even though I couldn’t participate in one of my favorite national holidays—Oberon Day—I made sure that Dairy Man was able to ring in spring with our favorite summer brew. Major points for the nine-month pregnant lady.

Oberon

6. Babies need pets.
These photos are proof. Baby F and Jersey simply must be best friends.

7. A lot can change in three short weeks.
Somehow I grew a torpedo between weeks 33 and 36. Now that I’m in week 38, I can’t even begin to fathom how this torpedo can get any bigger.

Torpedo

8. A medium shamrock shake from McDonalds has 660 calories.
SIX-HUNDRED AND SIXTY calories, people. Insanity. This did not stop me from partaking, mind you, but it did add a minty layer of guilt to my annual green treat. I wish I could unlearn this particular fact.

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9. Snow frisbee > regular frisbee
Just ask the one puppy in our family who is not ready for the snow to melt. He’s all about anything that allows him to dramatically hurl his body through the air like a furry David Beckham into a cold, white foam pit.

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10. This balancing dog is smarter and more awesome than I’ll ever be. 
Just take a look at these mad skills. Jersey, we have a new spring project.

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It’s Not About the Closet Doors: On Motherhood, Fears, and Faith

26 Mar

A friend told me recently that one of her biggest fears in regards to her baby boy isn’t that he won’t sleep through the night, eat his vegetables, or learn to spell.

She’s afraid that his future wife will hate her.

I can honestly say that such a thought had never even crossed my mind until then. Should I be worried about my unborn baby’s betrothed!? I’m barely grasping the idea that I’m going to have an infant.

The more I thought about what she said, the more I started to realize the gravity of my upcoming entrance into parenthood.

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Within the next 2-3 weeks I will give birth to a living, breathing, functioning little boy. This boy will skin his knees, go to kindergarten, get holes in his jeans, bust a move at school dances, and one day bring home a woman who will be his wife.

The trajectory starts with his first cry, his first gasp into life. And then, someday, he’ll bring home a girl who might hate me.

I recognize the insanity of this logical leap, particularly since I haven’t even met my son yet. But something about the late third trimester flips a switch in your brain between pregnancy and parenthood.

I’m so excited. I’m wonderfully, ecstatically, fearfully, joyfully waiting for life to change forever. I’m elated to meet the little being that has been growing and kickboxing in my womb for the past nine months. I can’t wait to hold him, to see if he has Dairy Man’s eyes, to watch him grow.

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But if I’m honest, I’m also terrified.

This terror has spawned a few moments of pure, unadulterated irrationality throughout this pregnancy. One such moment came when Dairy Man asked me what kind of closet doors I wanted in the nursery and I melted into an indecisive pile of emotional goo.

I know there’s nothing existentially significant about closet doors. But for some reason it felt like if I picked the wrong doors for a room that was going to house MY CHILD, everything else would fall apart.

The doors had to be perfect. I had to be perfect. Because, clearly my child’s whole future would hinge on closet doors. The wrong doors could keep him from sleeping through the night, getting good grades, making friends, eating his vegetables.

I’d like to blame it solely on pregnancy hormones, but I think it’s deeper than that.

Because it’s not about the closet doors. It’s about feeling overwhelmed. It’s about the unknown. It’s about life changing. It’s about a long-awaited blessing so beautiful it simultaneously makes me want to laugh and weep.

Pregnancy has been a growing experience (no pun intended – bahdoomCHHH) for this self-aware Type A. The baby-baking process has been the ultimate exercise in loss of control. And it’s liberating. Everything up to this point and everything that will come after requires complete trust in God.

My son might not like broccoli. He might get detention. He might draw on his perfect closet doors with a red Sharpie. He might marry a girl who is lactose intolerant (the horror).

I have to put it all, even that future woman who will steal …ahem… I mean marry my son away, in His hands.

This is all part of a plan—a plan outside of my control. The road was paved with frustration and heartbreak, but God finally blessed us with a viable pregnancy. My fear of parenthood pales in comparison to my intense, overwhelming gratitude. That’s what matters. I might not know how to swaddle a baby or discipline a misbehaving toddler, but I’ve been given the incredible chance to figure it out. This child is already in someone else’s hands.

I’m realizing that this is it. Right now. My life isn’t about tomorrow or growing up or my son’s future wife, it’s about the beautiful terror of each moment. The realization that I’m not in charge. The recognition that each mundane or shattering moment can take me straight to the feet of glory.

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I’m so thankful I get to live this life. I wouldn’t trade all of the pain, anger, fear, and uncertainty that comes along with it. It’s not about what already happened or what could be, it’s about where I am now. There is nothing more sacred or profound than this day.

So I’ll keep nesting, reading baby books, saving money, and practicing my breathing techniques. But ultimately I know that this new adventure is out of my hands. Everything will be new, but everything will be painfully beautiful. Life will change and we’ll change with it.

That’s the best kind of fear.

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——

All photos for this post were taken from our maternity shoot with the talented Ashley Folkema.

10 Things I Learned in February

27 Feb

Not to sound like a broken record, but I can honestly say that I’m not sorry to see the backside of February. I’m sick of winter. DM is sick of winter. The cows are sick of winter. Jersey is … not, but he’s a furry anomaly who is blinded by his love of snow frisbee.

Practically speaking, I need things to warm up because my winter coat will no longer button over my pregnant girth. The whole “I can stuff myself into it until spring” plan isn’t really working and a milder season is nowhere in sight.

Stuffed-sausage-coats notwithstanding, February cannot not squeak by without teaching me a few things. Thus, I give you:

10 Things I Learned In February

1. You can supply an entire home with water through a garden hose.
How, pray tell, do I know this fun fact? Well, thanks to the delightful little winter we’re having, the pipe running from the farm’s main water source to our house froze SOLID. So did the ground all around it. Short of digging up 70 feet of pipe in frozen ground, we’re stuck. The solution? Run several garden hoses from the water supply to our house. The hose connects directly to our system in the house (even running through the water heater), so I can’t complain too much, but we live in constant fear of the hose freezing too. Seriously. Is it spring yet?

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2. While Dairy Man is away, MFW will play.

Or binge watch the entire season 2 of House of Cards. DM spent a week in California this month to attend the World Ag Expo and tour around dairy country. He soaked up the sun, ogled at rotary parlors, and ate from taco trucks. I didn’t clean anything, ate cinnamon rolls for dinner, and watched an embarrassing number of HOC episodes. The show is so addicting. And to those who have seen the last episode, can I just say: WHAAAAAAT!?!?!? Season 3 is going to be a thrill ride.

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3. I have a secret to avoid speeding tickets.

Well, sort of. True confession: I force out a big yawn whenever I pass a police car because I think it makes me look nonchalant. Obviously no laws can be broken while yawning. I like to believe it’s impossible to perceive a yawner as a speeder.

4. I have not overcome my donut cravings.
I’ve never wanted sugar more than I have during this pregnancy. Proof? This is what my body required to get through my weekly grocery shopping trip this Monday. I couldn’t even talk myself out of it with the “you’ll spoil your dinner” argument because farmers don’t eat until 8 p.m. anyway! Curses.

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5. Just as DM suspected, whole milk may keep you lean.

I admit to you that I came into my marriage as a fervent lover of skim milk, margarine, and low-fat yogurt. Oh the horror. Dairy Man was so ashamed. But I gradually began to see that my perceptions about “healthy” dairy were far from the truth. Studies are starting to suggest that natural fats are actually better for us than the empty low-fat/no-fat options on the market. DM is quite smug.

6. Ice cover on the Great Lakes stood at 77% as of Tuesday.
This winter has been unlike any we’ve seen in the last 20-30 years. As a result, the Great Lakes were 77 percent frozen this week! And they were a mind-boggling 88 percent frozen on February 13. I’m not quite ready to ice skate to Wisconsin (especially since Lake Michigan is only about 50 percent frozen), but these stats boggle my mind.

7. It’s possible for Dairy Man to love Paul Rudd even more than he already does.
DM has two primary man-crushes in his life: James Franco (which I do not understand) and Paul Rudd (which I do). This unfettered man-love often dictates his movie choices and even trickles into his YouTube browsing. Paul’s recent lip sync battle with Jimmy Fallon propelled DM’s warm fuzzy feelings to new heights.

8. Somewhere in the world, tropical pigs are swimming.
This is the stuff that gets me through the day.

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9. There is one sure-fire way to ruin your husband’s day.
Just swap the melted Snickers bar he was saving for a “special occasion” with raisins. Oops.

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10. I have less than 50 days until my due date.

Y-to the-IKES. I can’t believe how quickly the third trimester is flying by. And how big I feel. I like to surprise people with the size of my belly by turning sideways quickly, bouncing on my toes, and shouting, “WA-BUM!” It’s dramatic. This baby boy/dairy spawn will be here soon. Now if we could just finish the nursery or agree on a name…

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10 Things I Learned in December

30 Dec

The gifts are unwrapped, the cookies are stale, and it’s time to take down the Christmas decorations. There’s a certain melancholy that comes with the holiday seasons’s end, especially after such a frenzied rush to the finish line.

But I feel peace. Dairy Man and I spent some time last night looking through photos from 2013 and it’s been a good year. We’ve accomplished a lot in 12 short months,  from building a barn to teaching Jersey to high-five to making a baby. I’ve learned more about patience, persistence, kindness, and creating space for my soul to breathe.

Now, we look forward to 2014 with rightful fear and ecstatic joy. That said, I can’t usher in the new year without telling you what I learned this month.

10 things I learned in December 

1. Dairy Man doesn’t enjoy ballet.
DM and I journeyed into the city this holiday season to see The Nutcracker. I love everything about this classic ballet, but he was skeptical. And now we know. While my dear farmer enjoys plays and musicals (thankfully, because I’m a total theater nerd) he does not enjoy ballet. I think the skintight white pants may have thrown him off. Or perhaps the movements he called “prancing around.” It’s really a shame.

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2. Dogs have around 1,700 taste buds. Humans have 9,000.
This fact could explain why Jersey has such a propensity for manure consumption. Though maybe I would find it delicious too if I only had 1,700 taste buds.

3. I’m addicted to watching Jersey on the baby-cam.
DM got me a baby-cam this summer so that I could watch Jersey on my iPhone during the day. But we didn’t hook up the camera until this month to test it out for the impending Baby F. Even though all Jersey does in the kitchen is look out the window, eat, yawn, and nap, I can’t stop watching him. DM even makes a cameo appearance once and a while.

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4. My family is still awesome.
Case in point? Our annual Christmas card photo shoot was a smashing success.

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5. Though eerily similar in look and texture, mashed cauliflower is NOT a viable substitute for mashed potatoes.
Yuck. Just trust me on this one. No matter what the pretty pictures on Pinterest tell you, mashed cauliflower is re-pul-sive. Even though your brain says “Huh, it can’t be so bad. They look just like potatoes,” your mouth is screaming, “SWEETKNIGHTSOFCOLUMBUS what is this atrocity?!? SPITITOUT!!”

6. Everybody loves a pregnant reindeer.
Best entry ever into an ugly sweater contest? Maybe.

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7. Baby Boy F is going to have a cousin in July.
We were thrilled to find out last week that DM’s sister is also expecting her first child! It will be so fun to have cousins only three months apart. I can almost see the motley crew comprised of of our current dog-children and future farm-kids creating mischief all over the dairy. Jersey and Maggie have assured us they are more than up to the task of educating their human protégés.

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8. In my favorite Christmas movie, Home Alone, the McAllisters’ house was a real house outside Chicago.
Who knew? I wonder if they do tours?

9. Hiring out is the best.
When DM and I found out we were pregnant, we decided the only logical place for a nursery was in the wild, untouched frontier known as our upstairs. This decision required some serious renovations, like taking out walls, adding insulation, and stripping off ancient lath and plaster. A project of this scale called for professional help. So, for the first time since we started renovating three years ago, we hired a contractor. And people, let me tell you, it is glorious. We went from damaged wood paneling and chipped plaster to bright shiny drywall in a matter of two weeks. It’s amazing how quickly things get done when you’re not trying to squeeze it in on a weekend. My nesting instincts are on steroids.

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10. I do in fact have a pregnancy craving. And it rhymes with “go nuts.”
At first I thought I was squeaking through pregnancy without any weird cravings. Pickles and ice cream sounded repugnant and DM wasn’t making any 2 a.m. gas station runs for Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. But then I started thinking about donuts and I couldn’t stop. So I’ve started buying them for other people. Because if I’m going into a sugar coma, I’m taking everybody down with me.

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10 Things I Learned in October

30 Oct

As you may have surmised from the radio silence over here in dairy land since the big announcement, October has been a busy month! In addition to the frenzy created by Baby F, Dairy Man and I have been traveling, harvesting, and home renovating. October went by like a flash. I feel like we only recently emerged from the annual corn-coma and now we’re already talking about turkey.

I’m in no rush. I’m really trying to savor this time, to fully experience each day. If being pregnant has changed anything, it’s changed the way DM and I look towards the future. We can’t wait to be parents, but we’re also trying to enjoy this season, because we know we’ll never be here again. We’ll never have these same moments. This is the time to be fully present in the journey. After the craziness of the past few months, winter is the perfect time to slow down, be more contemplative, to reconnect with each other and ourselves. I can’t wait.

But enough of my philosophizing. Let’s get down to the important stuff–what I learned this month.

10 Things I Learned in October

1. If you mix herbs, sweet potato, apple, onion, and turkey sausage, you get amazingness.
One of my favorite things about fall is the shift from light, fresh summer meals to warm, hearty fall dishes. This recipe for an “Oven-roasted autumn medley” helped me use up some of the apples around our house and was ridiculously delicious to boot.

autumnmedley

2. Even if you are just barely pregnant enough to bump out, some people will STILL try to touch your belly.
I’m talking to you, strange lady at church. I know you meant well, but don’t make me go all Pennsylvania on you.

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3. Cats can be jerks. Especially when they steal dogs’ beds.
Let’s just say that after seeing this video, Jersey is happy to be without a feline sibling.

4. I was reminded that community is one of the sweetest gifts we can build into our lives.
Despite the volume and estrogen that are bound to accompany a weekend in northern Michigan with 12 of your closest friends, nothing is more beautiful. Twelve of my girlfriends and I rented a house in Glen Arbor for an entire weekend this October. For 2.5 glorious days, we did nothing but relax, talk, eat unhealthy snacks, drink wine (or apple cider in some of our cases), play games, cook meals together, wear sweatpants, and enjoy a break from reality. It was loud, messy, and unspeakably cleansing. Our weekend away soothed my soul. I am so blessed by the friends I’ve found in our small town.

glenarbor

5. My mom will go freaking b-a-n-a-n-a-s if you tell her she’s going to be a grandma.

Yes, you should be singing the Gwen Stefani song in your head right about now. B-a-n-a-n-a-s. As most of you know, Dairy Man and I made a big announcement a few weeks ago. But before we could tell you guys, we had to tell our parents. We told my family by wrapping up a framed copy of the ultrasound photo for my grandma (the birthday girl) to open. As you can see from this video, chaos ensued. I’m just starting to get hearing back in my right ear. Thanks, Mom.

6. The end of corn harvest is basically a holiday.
Ding! Dong! The corn is up! This is the time of year for singing. And the return of date nights. Last weekend, Dairy Man and I had our first night on the town since corn harvest began. The evening was celebratory, a chance to reconnect and recharge. Despite challenging weather this fall (thanks to waaaay too much rain), we harvested all 1,100 acres of our corn in record time. I’m an old vet after three years of marriage and–dare I say it?–harvest seemed to fly by this year. Let’s break out the champagne.

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7. Sunrises are pretty great.
As a Michigan native who grew up on the shores of a west-facing lake, I’ve always been partial to sunsets. A good sunset can instantly transport me back to my grandparents’ cottage on Lake Michigan, nestled into the crook of my grandpa’s arm, smelling fish and his soap, watching another day slip below the horizon. I’ve ushered many a day into darkness; I rarely greet the sun. But since the days have been getting shorter, I’ve had the chance to witness the sun’s entrance as I drive to work. And it is glorious.

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8. It’s possible to fashion a small piano out of nothing but chocolate.
This month I went to a work conference in Grand Rapids and this was the dessert at our evening meal. Seriously. SHUT UP. Who even knew this was possible? Thanks to hundreds of people taking photos of their delectable delight, #chocolatepiano even briefly trended on Instagram.

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9. Lunch dates can spiral out of control.
Only in farm life can a nice little lunch date with your husband turn into one traumatized farm wife trying not to overhear a long phone conversation about a cow’s uterus. I couldn’t even finish my sandwich. A little sensitivity, man!

10. Whether it’s a boy or a girl, I think our baby needs this pacifier.
It’s so distinguished.

How about you? Did you learn anything earth-shattering or hilarious this month? And it’s ok to be jealous of my chocolate piano.

Check out my other monthly recaps here, here, and here.